Tuesday, 15 March 2016

WALT describe a moment in time (part two)

Since we have been working so hard on our 'animorph' character descriptions Ms Brown decided to let us run our imaginations wild again whilst thinking about . . . chocolate!

Our aim was to describe a moment in time using our five senses without using the word 'chocolate'.  We were given either a piece of caramello or peppermint chocolate to suck on and as writers we had describe the moment in time using powerful adjectives, metaphors, similes and alliteration.  It was important for the writer to give clues on whether the chocolate was caramello or peppermint for the audience (we are learning to infer in reading) . . . can you guess which piece of chocolate we are talking about?




The Amazing Square of Joy
I feel the small smooth brown lump as it sticks to my finger like a bird, as it sticks to the rhinos back.  I lift it to my nose and I take a whiff of the wonderful lump staring right back at me.  I love the sweet smell but by now I just want to take a bite.  Finally it's time to take a suck, I lower it carefully into my mouth, I don't want to damage the sweet little angel of joy.  I take a suck and it tastes wonderful!  At last the brown cage holding the wonderful taste gives way.  I swirl my tongue into the delicious golden gooey core that was just amazing!
By Olivia (year 6)

As the minuscule little brown piece of delight arrives on my tissue, am I in a dream or is it real?  It's real, it really is!  I am almost falling off my chair in excitement.  The brown, joyful square intimidates me to eat it.  "Right that's it" I say to myself.  I shove it in my mouth.  A surge of gooey, runny and joyful rush of liquidy caramel washes over my tongue and runs down my throat.  I am begging myself to ration the smooth piece of joy but its too late.  It is running down my throat and heading down to my stomach.  My mouth is watering for more!
By Will (year 7)



5, 4, 3, 2, 1 It catapults in my mouth, lumpy brown has entered.  Bam!  The dark - smooth creature softens like when candy floss disintegrates itself.  The creamy liquid explodes like crazy!  Then Mr Lumpy Brown fell down my throat and died.  R.I.P.
By Ethan (year 6)



When I got the block of brown stuff I had to wait half an hour before I could eat it - well, it was probably about 10 seconds, but you get the idea.  As soon as it reached my mouth it started to melt, it tasted like mint.  Finally the intense heat made the walls give in revealing the lush caramel centre, the liquids mixing and forming a delicious goo that ran down my throat and into my stomach.
By Ben (year 6)



Thank you to Clutha Valley School for the writing inspiration . . .







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